Nothing ever prepares you for having kids. Yep cliche I know but there really is no other way to put it. The thing is no-one ever warns you about the curve balls either because boy are they fun ! Yep sarcasm city here we come !
I thought at least by the second one I'd have had some clue but nope he threw his own curveballs & I know I sorta said the same in my last post here but when going thru in my own head this is all how it comes out.
The thing is we learn early on how to judge parents which is fair enough cause sorry if you choose to forward face your 4mth old in their carseat or actually put coca-cola into your babies bottle then yeah. we're gonna judge you. Judgey McJudgey pants right here. But aside from sheer stupidity there is line surely ? Aren't we all just trying our best ? Apart from those doing stupid things like above they honestly don't mean harm they just don't know any better. There are those who purposely do harm & they are an entirely different kettle of fish. They are not what I call parents. Cruel intentions aside parents really are just trying to wade thru it all hoping like all hell to get out unscathed & to either keep their kids alive or at the very least out of gaol.
I do admit to having to totally change my thoughts & views when I became a mum.
I soooooo was that childless woman who said " My child will never .... " ... Oh yes. Yes indeed.
Oh how they are the least of my problems now !!!
I never thought I'd become a parent of a child on the Spectrum let alone two. Never in a million years ever realised how hard & frustrating it would be & also how rewarding.
Never thought I'd find myself judged by those around me yet here we are.
It's been interesting to learn that just the diagnoses have caused controversy but wow even more so now the fact I have had to walk the hard line of medication. One of the freaking hardest paths ever. I honest to all gods thought I had faced some pretty difficult stuffs, thought I was strong & battle hardened. Instead OH HELLO NEW CURVEBALL !!!
For the last two years it's been there, lingering in the background. I had high hopes it would never happen, that we could solve everything in various other ways. I have tried various therapies, attended various seminars with experts along with seeing a Psychologist every three weeks.
Yet here we are.
The very place I never wanted to be.
It is so easy to be on the outside, to sit there thinking " I would NEVER do that ". That was so me years ago. So easy to have absolutely no idea what it is like to watch your child crumble into a million pieces in front of you.
I get that medication is such a hot topic along with the likes of the diagnosis or ADHD or ASD because it seems everyone has an opinion on it these days. Cause yanno they have not even dealt with it but are obviously experts cause they read something on the net the other day & it told them what they wanted to hear. If that makes them feel better then good for them but stop with the judging or assumption that it stands for others.
I agonised over it all, this wasn't a medication to stop an active child or to make him behave. This wasn't because I couldn't handle 'him'. I am a big believer in not using medication especially when it's done in such a manner we are changing a child, not allowing them to be themselves because they need to fit in a box. This was a different decision.
My son is anxious. All. The. Time.
Not just run of the mill stuff, the kid has the weight of the world on his shoulders & then some.
You also then have the vicious circle of anxious child won't sleep which means being overtired which then in turn causes the anxiety to heighten & around & around & around & around we go.
I am currently struggling to keep my head above water at the moment with all of this, I am so out of my depth but am luckily surrounded by many great people & friends along with fantastic Psych & Paed but some days are hard. I am trying to keep his head above that water line too & it's a constant battle which scares me, scares me that such a small dude can have such big worries in life that weigh him down so greatly. He should be enjoying his childhood, not struggling & fighting with it.
Judge away at those who deserve the judgement but if you feel the need to be judging those doing their damned hardest, well I guess then that says a lot more about you.
