We watched Harry Potter & The Order Of The Phoenix tonite.
Let's be honest here people, I cry ugly heaving sobs through these movies. Yep they get me every single time.
The boys ask more questions through them now, some quite amusing but some that are quite understanding of things I would have thought beyond them. But G tonite couldn't understand why they couldn't just cure Prof. Lupin being a werewolf. So having to explain I came up with that sadly just like life not all things can be cure & not even magic can do all we wish it could.
We talked about how Harry's Mother was what protected him, how he wished that there was a way he could bring his parents back.
We talked about how I wish my Dad was able to come back. How I wish so much he was able to be part of their world, to meet my niece & be part of hers & my nephews ( he did have time with my Dad albeit brief ). I can't even put it into words. The grief that it will never happen. The grief that he misses out on so much every single day.
Sometimes I still look for him when out. Like it is some weird mind trick that makes me believe he is just 'lost'. Not really gone, not really dead. Just not here right now.
Years on & it still bites.
So much he has missed & so much I know is yet to come.
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